Finally Over

Well, another Halloween is over.

We went to Church of the Rock to escape the little door-to-door extortionists. The church had carnival-like games set up everywhere and kids got candy for participating. We got there late and most of the stations had no candy left. Yet the boys were too young to notice big bags of candy carried by the older kids. They were content with the few suckers and mini-chocolate bars that we managed to find.

Kudos to Church of the Rock. It was a well-organized affair ending with a Veggie-Tales new release presented on three huge screens. The boys came home tired and happy.

What made me laugh today...

A family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems fine, but after awhile she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems fine, but after awhile she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So, Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask. "It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."

Flash Earth

You've probably already discovered Google Earth, a downloadable program that allows you to view satellite pictures of many parts of the Earth. FlashEarth.com is a web-based version, except there's no download and fewer options. However, it does allow you to select between Google and MSN images (they're different!). If you didn't want to (or aren't allowed to) download the Google Earth program you may want to check it out.

What made me laugh today...

A blond and a brunette are listening to the news. The newscaster says, "Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed." "Oh, no!" the blond exclaims. "That's terrible!" The brunette sits stunned at this display of emotion, watching as the blond sits, head in hands. Finally, the blond looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

Tampon Doll

For only $10 (plus shipping) from this website you can be the proud owner of a tampon doll. Apparently they "look great in your bathroom, maybe next to a toilet paper doll." Insert your own joke here, I'm not brave enough.

What made me laugh today...

A guy goes to his doctor because he's not feeling well. After a battery of tests the doctor says, "Unfortunately, I have a couple of things to discuss with you." "What's wrong?" the man asks, warily. "Well," says the doctor, "first of all, our tests show that you have cancer and only have three weeks to live." "Oh, my god!" says the man. "Well, what else is wrong?" "Our tests indicate that you also have Alzheimer's" says the doctor. "Well, I can always look on the bright side," says the man. "At least I don't have cancer."

Hornblasters

My brother Paul sent me a link to HornBlasters.com. These guys sell and install the equipment to run locomotive air horns in your vehicle. The website has a number of videos where they cruise around town with a camcorder, blowing the horn and recording people's reactions. Younger people tend to startle, and then laugh. Older people just return venomous glares.

What made me laugh today...

From a men's room in New Zealand -- talk about performance pressure!

Faces 2

One of the faces in this picture looks angry, the other calm. Our brains have spent years learning the signs, and that your interpretation, based on this amount of detail. But watch what happens when the pictures get smaller.

As the details become indistinct, your brain makes a different decision on which face is angry and which is calm. Just in case you're sceptical, copy the big picture and zoom in and out on a image viewer, or stand back from your monitor.

What made me laugh today...

Yeah, some days it does feel this way!

Typing Test 2

This little game seems simple enough -- just type whatever drifts across the screen. But within a minute you begin to feel the panic rising. It's frantic, and then it slows down. Or does it?

What made me laugh today...

Here's an aerobics clip guaranteed to make you feel good about yourself.

I Can't Believe Its Not Buddha

The Gyuto monks create intricate sculptures out of butter. They're quite impressive. And since Yvonne has gone on an "anti-fat crusade" what else are you going to do with all that butter in your fridge?

What made me laugh today...

While attending a marriage seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Robin Hood, isn't it?

Wacky Uses

More of a "solution looking for a problem" site, wackyuses.com lists scores of ordinary household products and what you can do with them. Sort of a MacGuyver site without any cool exploding combinations.

What made me laugh today...

(Besides the picture of Evan on Lynne's site yesterday) I found this letter. It's a note rejecting a rejection letter from a company. While I doubt it would get a person a job, it's a good way to let off steam while jobhunting.

How's Your Typing?

All you have to do in this game is press any key to start, then follow the winding staircase. The problem is that the controls are constantly changing. If you have to look at the keyboard to play, you'll die fast. Let me know how high you get.

What made me laugh today...

The 2005 holiday pack from Jones Soda is soon to be released. Last year's holiday pack featured an entire Thanksgiving Dinner: Turkey & Gravy Soda, Cranberry Soda, Mashed Potato & Butter, Green Bean Casserole, and Fruitcake Soda. They quickly sold out.

Proceeds from the sales went to charity.

So Ya Wanna...

The website SoYaWanna.com teaches you how to do all the things nobody taught you in school. You can learn how to be a model, play poker, lie persuasively or learn to speak with an irish accent.

What made me laugh today...


No Bob, I think it might be something else.

Eye Trick 3

Check out this video. It shows a little paper dragon whose eyes seem to follow you as you move around it. At the end of the clip they show you how it's done. And here's a copy you can download and make yourself.

What made me laugh today...

Okay, this clip is a bit juvenile, but it DID make me laugh. For all you Matrix fans.

If God Used A Computer

Here's how Genesis would have read if God had used a Unix-based computer to create the earth. A bit geeky, but fun.

What made me laugh today...

WARNING!!

A scam is being pulled in the city, mainly on men.

What happens is that when you stop for a red light, a young topless woman comes up and begins to wash your windshield. While she is doing this, another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car.

They are very good at this: They got me three times Friday and twice on Saturday.

I wasn't able to find them on Sunday.

Fridge

This is a fun site. Picture a fridge covered in magnetic letters and a bunch of people trying to use the letters to communicate to each other. Hilarious! You can be working on a message and have someone steal your letters in the middle of it.

What made me laugh today...

A redneck weather station

This hatred, this animosity!

What made me laugh today...

Two Iraqis boarded a train out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an American sat down in the aisle seat.

After takeoff, the American kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Iraqi in the window seat said, "I need to get up and get a coke."

Don't get up," said the American, "I'm in the aisle seat; I'll get it for you."

As soon as he left, one of the Iraqis picked up the American's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the coke, the other Iraqi said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too." Again, the American obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Iraqi picked up his other shoe and spat in it.

When the American returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the trip.

As the train was arriving at the station, the American slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"

What Not To Wear

This is just plain wrong. There's no debate, no one will comment because we'll all agree. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

What made me laugh today...

Larry La Prise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey," died peacefully at the age of 83. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.

They put his left leg in - and things just started to go downhill from there.

Ig Nobel Awards

The 2005 Ig Nobel awards were given out on October 6. Ig Nobels are given to people for scientific work of little value that should probably not have been done.

This year's recipients included:

• the inventor of neuticles, replacement testicles for neutered dogs (Medicine)
• the Nigerian scam entrepreneurs (Literature)
• monitoring the brain of a locust while it was watching Star Wars (Peace)
• a study of whether people can swim faster in syrup than in water (Chemistry)
• a study on the odors emitted by frogs when they're stressed (Biology)
• a man who photographed & analyzed all his meals for the past 34 years (Nutrition)
• calculating the pressure inside a penguin before it poops (Fluid Dynamics)
• watching a blob of tar dripping in a funnel since 1927 (Physics)

and my favorite:

• an alarm clock that runs and hides in your room, forcing you to get up (Economics)

It's a shame I missed the ceremony.

What made me laugh today...

Actually, I had tears in my eyes. This clip is about a guy who is leaving a voicemail for his boss that he's going to be late. Suddenly he witnesses an accident and the vehicles' occupants get into a skirmish. And that's all I'll tell you. Just listen!

Tooth Paint

This guy has a website showing off all the teeth he has painted. He does nice work. However, many of the teeth are quite yellow and disgusting-looking. No, he can't do living teeth since the paint has to be fired in order to set.

What made me laugh today...

A guy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking spot. Looking up toward heaven, he said, "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking spot, I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and tithe faithfully."
Miraculously, a parking spot appeared.

He looks up again and said, "Never mind. I found one."

Folding T-shirts

You've probably seen on TV how to lay a t-shirt on the floor and by picking it up a certain way place it back down perfectly folded. And then forgot how. Well now you can watch this video as many times as it takes you to remember it.

BTW, if your system doesn't play QuickTime videos, go here to download Quicktime Alternative. It's much less invasive.

What made me laugh today...

Ok, swing on three....Ready....one.....two.....

Photos Beyond the Wall

Here's a site where you can have your family picture with a prison inmate placed onto a lovely background. Is it just me, or are they convincing families to lie about where Daddy is?


What made me laugh today...

Finally, Cosmopolitan magazine has compiled all their advice into one comprehensive volume.

Vacuum Camouflage

Others may think this is clever, but I think it's silly. You put one of these on your upright vacuum and then you don't have to put it away after using it.

What made me laugh today...

Due to consumer concern of people being flung forward and striking their heads against the dashboard during a collision, 2006 Chrysler LeBarons come with the new option of "neckbelts" instead of seatbelts.



No, of course it's not true.

A couple of videos

This is rather cool. The performer removes her head, and I'm not quite sure how she does it.

What made me laugh today...

You have to like Star Wars to get all the humor in this video. The salesman is a good sport about the whole thing.

Icehole

Evan asked about a noise that our fridge occasionally makes. I explained that the fridge makes ice, and it makes a noise as it falls into a bucket. When you want ice, it falls down a chute. It comes into your glass through a hole above the trigger which I accidentally referred to as an "icehole". With his two-year old diction, that may have been a mistake.

This weekend is Thanksgiving and we're going to visit both sets of grandparents. It's possible Evan may notice that their fridges are different. The last thing I need at a busy dinner table is for him to start asking "Where is your icehole, Gramma?".

What made me laugh today...

Back home

Well, I made it back yesterday morning. We got our flight to Toronto and then to Winnipeg no problem. We rode in a larger jet than before so it was much more comfortable. Air Canada is so much nicer than Jazz or Westjet. We originally left the conference early so we would be back by Wednesday night. A co-worker had planned to leave the conference in the evening and her flight wasn't delayed at all. So we could have stayed later and gotten home earlier. What a rip-off!

What made me laugh today...

What's worse than being a bad singer? Being a bad singer in a stadium full of people. These guys are simply the worst.

Stranded

So I just finished a three-day comptrollers conference for DND in Cornwall. We drove to Ottawa only to find that our flight to Winnipeg was cancelled because of a little snow that apparently fell in the 'peg. My boss and I are now stuck in Ottawa for the night and have to catch a flight to Toronto tomorrow morning at 5:00 AM. Hopefully we can find another flight to Winnipeg from there. Until then, I have a rather nice suite in which to relax for a few hours.

It's an adventure, but I miss my family.

What made me laugh today...

My boss mentioned that my team's work has been very valuable to him and he was glad we were working in his office. Then he turned away and I heard him mutter "I like to have morons."

"I beg your pardon, morons?" I asked, slightly taken aback.

He looked at me and said very carefully "I said I'd like to have more Ron's."

Viral Ads

A viral ad is one that is politically incorrect and cannot be shown in mainstream media. The ad is denounced by special interest groups and the company responds by how shocked it is with the ad company/marketing group that developed it, and promises to investigate. The fact that so many are offended by the ad simply increases its popularity and the ad spread like wildfire, requiring no more advertising investment. It's a brilliant marketing strategy.

My favorite viral ad is the one for the Ford SportKa. (BTW, the cat is entirely computer-generated!)

What made me laugh today...

I took the boys to a playground today. The play-structure began to fill up, so I picked a high vantage point from which I could watch both boys. As I stood there looking at Evan, he noticed the ladder beneath my feet. He shouted at me (loudly enough for all to hear) "Go on, Daddy, you can do it!"